Let's Party

As Americans, we have all sorts of parties.  We have birthday parties, beach parties, retirement parties, New Year’s parties, surprise parties, cocktail parties, dinner parties, and we have political parties.  Why we call a group of government bureaucrats a “party” is beyond me.  I guess it’s like why we call a group of geese a “gaggle.”  We also call a group of apes a “shrewdness,” and a group of bears a “sleuth.”  Collective nouns for animals are fascinating.  Did you know that a group of asses is a “coffle,” but only when they are in a roped line?

A Murder of Crows

Getting back to our political parties, perhaps they would be better described as a political coffle.  They are certainly closer to a group of asses tied in a line than my idea of a party.  A “flange” of baboons runs a close second to a coffle of asses, but I still like my first choice.

Coffle of Asses

Coffle of Asses

We all know the Republican Party and the Democratic Party that make up our current two-party system.  We also know we usually have an independent or two.  Independents are not to be confused with the American Independent Party (AIP).  It seems that thousands of Californians in the 2016 election were confused and joined AIP which is actually the ultra-conservative segregationist party founded by George Wallace back in the 60’s.  These Californians thought they were registering as “independents.”  Political parties are so confusing.

In 1796 America, the party first began.  It was then that George Washington, who had no party affiliation, was to be replaced.  His vice president, John Adams, ran as a Federalist against Thomas Jefferson, a Democratic-Republican.  You see, Democrats and Republicans got along at one time since it is hard to argue with yourself.  Adams won the close election (71 to 68 in the Electoral College) and Jefferson, by the terms of the US Constitution, became his vice president.  Yes, back then, the runner-up became the vice president.  Just think of our Breaking News headlines today if we were dealing with President Donald Trump and Vice President Hillary Clinton.  The late night comedians would have a field day.

President Trump and Vice President Clinton???

Therefore, we had Federalists and Democratic-Republicans, the latter of which would drop the term Republican to become the Democratic Party.  Another split within the Democratic-Republicans was with the formation of the National Republican Party.  This latter group eventually became the Whig Party, which was a name derived from a derisory Scottish word “Whiggamore,” meaning horse thief.  The term Whig evolved over time to mean anyone of a rebellious nature or non-conformist. The Whigs opposed President Jackson who they referred to as “King Andrew” Jackson.

The Whigs and Democrats played seesaw with the presidency for a while before the Whigs self-destructed in 1853 over the issue of slavery.  Eventually the National Union Party formed and Abraham Lincoln was its president.  After Lincoln’s assassination Andrew Johnson became president and the party was renamed the Republican Party.  Personally, my favorite name for a political party was the Know Nothing Party (aka Native American Party & American Party).

This latter spin-off from the Whigs was xenophobic and hostile to immigration and believed that there was a “deep state” whose goal was to subvert civil and religious liberty.  This description of a minor party from 1855 sounds very familiar to our current 2018 political situation.  What modern day politician has a similar philosophy?  Hmm, what politician is someone who is xenophobic, anti-immigration, and paranoid?  Wait, don’t tell me, I know this one.  It’ll come to me.  Even the name, “Know Nothing” seems to fit.  Millard Fillmore was a member of the Know Nothings but kept his association secret.  Fillmore lost the election and the Know Nothings faded into history, or did they?

President Know Nothing