The Return Address

Through the marvels of modern science, advanced DNA reanimation, and the engineers of Industrial Light and Magic, the remains of Abraham Lincon have been brought back to life, albeit only for a day.  He has received a transdermal infusion of all knowledge of our intervening history and current events.  He has chosen to speak to our nation through this, his Return Address.

I give you our 16th president of the United States, Mr. President.

Abraham Lincoln 2024

“Twelve score and eight years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great war of unrest, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. You are met on the social media platforms of that war.  You have done battle on the steps of our nation’s capital in an attempt to overthrow our elected government.  You now have re-elected the president who was responsible for that insurrection and he will free the perpetrators of that heinous crime.  This president comes to dishonor those who gave their lives that this nation might live. It is neither fitting nor proper that he should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not accept—we can not condone—we can not allow—this one man to destroy our democracy. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled before us, would want us to legally resist his efforts to remake our democracy in his own image. The world will little note, nor long remember what I say here, but it can never forget what HE did here. 

Who am I kidding?  You guys really shit the bed on this one.  You really screwed the pooch.  What were you thinking?  I mean the guy is an open book.  He flaunts his incompetence and corruption and that’s seen as a desirable change?  Hell, I was sick and had the early stages of smallpox when I gave my speech at Gettysburg.  You were able to eradicate smallpox with a vaccine and now you want your president to appoint a vaccine skeptic who thinks vaccines cause autism to head your health services?

Speaking of heads, the hole in mine is beginning to hurt and I think it is time I return to my almost-eternal slumber.  Please don’t wake me up again until you have fixed this nonsense.  Pay attention to your history.  Your last Civil War didn’t end well and where you are headed won’t get you what you want.  Learn from the past.

It is for you the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which your predecessors fought for and so nobly advanced. It is rather for you to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before you——that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth”