The Republican Tax Bill Explained, Maybe

I don’t think I fully understand the upcoming Republican Tax Reform Bill and resulting Republican budget strategy.  I know members of the Republican House and Senate don’t fully understand it either because they all say that they haven’t read the thing.  I can’t even think in terms of the trillions of dollars involved.  I thought I would try to understand the basics by way of an analogy, a parable if you will.

Consider the Joneses, a family of eleven with a husband, wife, and nine children.  This family represents all of America.  They own their own home but have a first and second mortgage which, when combined, exceed the appraised value of the home.  Their credit cards are all maxed out.  The husband, the sole wage earner, has an income of $100,000.  After making the two mortgage payments, minimum credit card payments, buying food, and paying utility and medical bills, there is nothing left at the end of the month.

The Joneses

This family takes its security seriously so they have a sophisticated alarm system, video surveillance, a perimeter fence, and they own over 200 semi-automatic rifles and 100 cases of ammunition.  This arsenal represents more firepower than all of their neighbors combined.  This year they plan to spend an additional $16,000 to purchase more weapons.  Since his credit cards are maxed, Mr. Jones plans to borrow this amount from the Bank of Xi Jinping.

The Joneses Take Security Seriously

The Jones’ house is in need of repairs and the electrical supply lines to the property need to be upgraded as there are regular power outages.  The road into the Jones property is full of potholes.  There is a small bridge across a ditch that is part of this main driveway entrance and that bridge is in danger of collapse after years of neglect.  The water supply to the house leaks and the sewer system constantly overflows into the yard.  These repairs will be postponed while Mr. Jones plans to put $10,000 into fixing the holes in their fence so his neighbors can’t sneak in.  It is not immediately obvious why the fence needs to be fixed since most of his neighbors currently just come in through the main driveway and front walkway.  Mr. Jones will again borrow this money from the Bank of Xi Jinping.

Mr. Jones gives his wife and nine children an allowance.  This year he plans to give his wife and eight of his kids a $1.00 a week raise in this allowance.  The last child, Donald, his favorite, will get a $500 a week raise.  Donald is the rich family member and spends his allowance on the finer things.  Mr. Jones had hoped that Donald would spend some of his allowance helping out other family members but, since Donald was born, this money has never trickled down to the others.  Mr. Jones hopes that, by giving Donald this extra $500 a week, his attitude will change.  It never has before but Mr. Jones is, above all things, an optimist (and a Republican).  These allowance raises will cost Mr. Jones $26,468 that he will borrow from the Bank of Xi Jinping.

Trickle Down Economics

Mr. Jones isn’t really worried about all of this.   He knows he can stop paying his health insurance to save some money.  If someone in the family gets sick they can always go to the local emergency room.   He also knows that he is getting along in years and has been regularly drinking from a polluted water supply and breathing the air from the nearby coal fired electrical plant.  He certainly hopes he doesn't have to rely on Medicare and Social Security since those programs will certainly have to be curtailed.  His wife and kids will inherit all of this debt when he dies.  Even Donald will suffer because he hasn’t saved a dime. 

If the Jones family sounds like it is living on borrowed time, just consider what the new tax bill and our current spending priorities sound like.  We owe about 2.4 trillion dollars to China and Japan.  We owe another 2.6 trillion dollars to other countries.  We also owe 5 trillion dollars to ourselves.  I guess this last figure is what happens when you own the printing press and can just make more dollars.

We currently owe more than the annual total Gross Domestic Product;
and we just gave everybody a raise (lowered taxes)

The Republican Party claims to be the party of fiscal responsibility but has just managed to plunge us deeper in debt.  Yes, I will personally pay less in taxes next year because of this tax cut.  Most salaried Americans will see lower withholding taxes and, as a consequence, receive a bigger paycheck.  Wealthy Americans, the .01% ers, by most accounts, will be able to afford an even bigger yacht.

While most Americans are today listening to the news and don't like the new tax bill, when they see a small boost in their paychecks in 2018, they will probably forget the disparity.  If we in the lower 99 percentile forget the beating we were handed in 2017, the 2018 mid-term elections will probably favor the Republicans.  To quote Sonny and Cher, "The beat goes on."

Sonny & Cher, The Beat Goes On

Food for thought.  According to the non-partisan Tax Policy Center:

The average break (from the new tax bill) would be about $1,600 in 2018, but the biggest break, calculated as a share of after-income tax, would go to those families making between $308,000 and $733,000. For middle-income people, their tax savings, an extra $900, would pay for about seven months of gas. By contrast, those in the top one percent could pick up a nice Mercedes C Class Coupe with their $50,000+ average tax cut.

You get $900 worth of gas

"THEY" get $50,000 Mercedes C Class

“The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much, it is whether we provide enough for those who have little.”  Franklin D. Roosevelt

The Repeal of Net Neutrality is Good For Consumers, and Other Tall Tales

Let’s face it,  the regional monopolies represented by AT&T, Verizon, and Comcast, need to make more money.  You were probably just looking at your most recent Internet provider bill and said to yourself, these poor people need to make even more money.  These ISP's would normally have but one option; to raise their rates and add new fees, which they have regularly done. There was always some risk here however, because some (not all) customers have alternatives with their competition.  Another way they can each make more money would be to “invest” in legislation that would allow them to charge content providers for access to you, their customers.

Whichever side of the political gridiron you regularly root for, you have to admit that both teams favor expediency of their specific agenda over anything else.  The good of the nation and the protection of consumers rarely enter their realm of conscious behavior.

A case in point is the recent repeal of net neutrality regulations.  I would speculate that most consumers don’t realize what just happened at the FCC with the elimination of the protections they have had since they were implemented in 2015, under Title II of the Communications Act.  In simple terms, net neutrality meant that all Internet service providers (ISP’s) had to allow equal and fair access to all content providers.  This would mean that Comcast, that owns NBC, Universal Studios, USA Network, Hulu, CNBC, etc., couldn’t give Internet priority to its network streams over the competition.  You should know that all three of the top ISP’s own content companies.

Note that AT&T also now owns DirecTv

It also meant that ISP’s couldn’t start blocking or slowing down media streams in order to demand payments from the content providers.  With net neutrality, all traffic flowed at the same speed over the network, regardless of ownership or content.  What will probably happen now, not immediately but soon, is that you will see that ISP’s will demand fees from major players like Netflix, YouTube, and Hulu.  These big players will have to “pay up” or face blocking or slow-downs of their customers’ feeds.  Smaller start-ups won't stand a chance.  Do you want to guess who will be paying these fees in the end?  I think you know the answer to this one.

When ISP’s can control the throttle and brake, they can control the content.  AT&T, Verizon, and Comcast can now make more money at your expense.  Who financially supported the repeal of net neutrality?  If you guessed AT&T, Verizon, and Comcast, you would be correct.  Since 2008, these three companies and their trade association, the National Cable & Telecommunications Association (NCTA) aka The Internet & Television Association, have spent over half a billion dollars lobbying the FCC and federal government.  That's half a billion dollars that didn't go into building infrastructure so they could complain to congress and the FCC that they don't have enough money for infrastructure.

Deregulation of business seems to be an important plank in the platform of one of our parties, (insert your guess here).  While both parties have been complicit in the deregulation game to some extent, (spoiler alert) Republicans seem to have raised it to a new art form.  They do this, with a straight face, and proclaim it is good for consumers.  When consumer protections are removed and big business is free to act in any manner they chose, how is this good for consumers?

Does anyone remember the deregulation of the banking industry?  The repeal of the protections imposed after the stock market crash of 1929, did wonders for the financial well being of millions of Americans.  Do you remember: October 19, 1987 (aka Black Monday); October 13, 1989 (aka Friday 13th mini-crash); March 10, 2000 (aka dot com bubble); September 16, 2008 (aka sub-prime mortgage Financial Crisis)?  The banking and financial industries said, "Trust us," and we did by taking away protections.  Note that both Democrats and Republicans were complicit here, but the Republicans have the deregulation gene as part of their DNA.

The head of the FCC is Trump appointed Ajit Pai.  You know Mr. Pai has the best interests of consumers in mind.  He was, after all, the former Associate General Counsel for Verizon, and wouldn't let that influence his decision to remove these consumer protections.

FCC Voting on Net Neutrality Removal
3 Republicans For; 2 Democrats Against

We all know how deregulation of the airline industry has benefited consumers.  Are you enjoying your wide people-sized seats and extra legroom yet?  I’m sure none of you has heard pre-flight announcements asking for volunteers to take another flight because this one has been over-booked.  You certainly haven’t heard the airlines ask for people to check their carry-on luggage because there just isn’t enough overhead space.

You know you can trust the airlines baggage handlers with your cameras, jewelry, and expensive clothing because if they are ever lost or damaged, the airlines will pay you back without question.  This assumes that you have receipts for each item, can prove that these items were in your bag, and file your claim in a timely (time-frame set by the airline) fashion.  Everybody trusts big business will place its customers’ needs above their respective bottom lines.  I know it’s hard to read this paragraph while your eyes are rolling.  Ah, the joys of de-regulation, when will they end?

Baggage Handler aka, the Catcher

The repeal of net neutrality captures the zeitgeist of the "new and improved" Republican party.  Take corporate money, pass or repeal legislation that benefits the corporation, and lie to the public that it is all to make America great again.  I ask the question, when did America stop being great?  Perfect, no, but we can hopefully fix what is wrong.  Much of what is wrong with America can be traced to regular visitors of the 202 area code.  Clue, I'm not talking about DC tourists here.

Opponents of net neutrality will argue that these onerous regulations are preventing them (AT&T, Verizon, Comcast) from providing better service at a lower cost to consumers.  If you believe this, please write me and tell me when your ISP lowers your broadband Internet bill.  These same people say, trust me, repeal of net neutrality will open the market to other ISP's who will provide the competition that holds down costs.  Again, please write me and tell me when you see other companies running  new coaxial cable, twisted pair, or fiber optic cable in your neighborhood to provide you with a better selection at a lower cost.  I won't hold my breath.

Airline deregulation was a good thing.  Bill Clinton did not have sex with that woman.  Banking deregulation never cost Americans a penny ($19 trillion is not a penny).  Repealing net neutrality will benefit consumers.  The Trojan Horse was a great gift to the Trojans.  Bernie Madoff had a sound investment strategy. Trickle-down economics really works.  Richard Nixon was not a crook.  My dog doesn't bite (that's not my dog).  It's only a cold sore.  You get this one and I'll pay next time.  It's supposed to make that noise.  I never inhaled.  I'm from the government and I'm here to help you.  The check is in the mail, and I won't ......

All Men (Voters) Are Created Equal, NOT

The Declaration of Independence, Bill of Rights, and US Constitution, define our system of government and are among the pillars upon which our government was founded.  The goals and ambitions outlined within these documents over 240 years ago were laudable.  The Declaration of Independence states, “…all men are created equal…” and this idea is embodied within our case law by a legal philosophy known as declarationism.

Declaration of Independence

It is a common misconception that the United States is a democracy.  We are, in fact, a constitution based Federal republic with certain democratic policies and traditions.  “We The People” don’t vote and create laws directly but have electors who are responsible for making decisions and creating laws.  All that being said, it was the intent of the founding fathers that all men, and later women, would have the ability to select their representatives.  It was also their intent to allow “The People” to select individuals to represent them who would make decisions in their best interests and/or the interests of the country as a whole.  The authors of our founding documents had just recently declared their freedom from a Monarchial system and wanted to insure that the will of the people would prevail.

What our founding fathers failed to anticipate was a financial take-over of our Republic.  While the handwriting has been on the wall for many administrations, Democratic and Republican, our most recent presidential incarnation has managed to throw caution to the wind and to test the legality of what we thought we knew to be fact.  We now realize that some things were just tradition, common sense, or morally sensible guidelines, but not explicitly written into law.  President Trump has now tested the waters and has decided to make waves.  Moreover, these are not to be little waves, these will be Big League waves (or Bigly if you prefer).

President Trump didn’t create this mess; he merely took advantage of our corrupt system.  Our congressional leaders have been complicit for decades in creating an environment where a man of Donald Trump’s demeanor could use his spinning moral compass to steer our country into turmoil.  Perhaps we owe President Trump a vote of thanks for pointing out the frailties of our system of government, perhaps not.  In any case, the devil is in the details, as well as the White House.

For decades, our elected officials had followed one “Prime Directive” to use a Star Trek reference, and that is that their main goal in office is to get re-elected.  In order to get re-elected they need to raise money, lots of money.  When “lots of money” flows to a politician, that money buys influence, access, and allows the donors to get laws written that favor them as individuals or corporations.  Prior to the Citizens United, v. Federal Election Commission ruling of 2010, the amount of money and hence influence, was restricted.  There were limits set that, even allowing for a few loopholes, kept gross corruption in check.  Now, money rules the day.  Money doesn’t just talk; money yells and screams with a bullhorn that is not to be ignored.

You would think that our system of elections would allow us to just vote out of office any individual who, through their legislative actions or misdeeds, didn’t mirror the will of the people.  In theory, this would be true.  However, when large quantities of cash and other items of value are involved, elections and politicians can be easily corrupted.

Money buys gerrymandered voting districts where the voting influence of large groups of voters is minimized or muted.  Money buys election laws that keep specific people or groups of people from voting.  Money buys media access to influence those who do vote.  In essence, money is used to buy legislation that favors individuals/corporations with the money.  The legislation enacted in exchange for money makes these donor individuals and corporations even wealthier.  It is a self-perpetuating process.

We can follow your moral compass as long as
it doesn't interfere with my financial GPS

As part of our concept of state’s rights, election laws vary rather widely.  This may be somewhat acceptable when selecting a state Senator, state Representative, or when voting on a statewide initiative or referendum.  On the other hand, national elections, i.e., presidential elections, should have a singular national standard.

Our presidential election process should be uniform in concept and execution across the nation.  It should not be a “state’s right” to decide who, how, when, and under what circumstances an individual can vote at the presidential level and how those votes are calculated and used in the process.  The Electoral College should be abolished as its original purpose and intent has long been negated.  As a practical matter the abolition of the Electoral College would be extremely difficult.

The first reason given for the existence of the Electoral College is that the voting public can't be trusted to always make informed critical decisions.  While it is conceivable that voters in the 18^th century might not have had access to the information that would let them avoid the election of a manipulative tyrant, one might argue that this very process is today, partly responsible for accomplishing that same feared outcome.

The second reason for the Electoral College’s existence was to provide smaller states with more influence in the election outcome than they would have if one person equaled one vote.  By way of example, [note, numbers are not current], Wyoming has 3 electoral votes for only 210,000 voters (1 electoral vote per 70,000) and California has 54 electoral votes for 9,700,000 voters (1 electoral vote per 180,000).  This means that each Wyoming voter is worth over two times as much, in the election of our president, than a voter in California is.  The principal of one-person one vote is thus negated.  To further complicate matters, the “winner takes all” concept of the Electoral College, which is a 19^th century invention, makes it easy for an individual to win the presidency without receiving the majority of votes.  Currently Maine and Nebraska are the only two states who do not use a “winner takes all” process.

Democrats won the popular vote six of last seven elections
but the presidency only four of those times

Currently ten states and the District of Columbia have signed the National Popular Vote Interstate Compact where they would abolish the “winner takes all” concept.  Their respective electoral representatives would be required to vote for whomever wins the popular vote in the 50 states and the District of Columbia. This group currently (2017) represents 165 electoral votes.  They need to reach 270 electoral votes before the Pact would change the system.

Inequality in America is further exacerbated by education, or a lack thereof.  While a good quality education should be a right of all people (along with healthcare), the rich get better educations than do poor people.  As we have seen more recently, the wealthy class in America has also managed to rob the monies we currently spend for education in the public sector and have diverted it to private schools.

The old adage that was designed to keep women under the control of men referenced “keeping them barefoot and pregnant.”  The new desire of the wealthy to wield financial power over their perceived lessors seems to be, “keep them poor and ignorant.”

The need for keeping a large sector ignorant or under-educated helps the rich get richer.  How else could you sell a tax plan where you give poor (and many not so poor) people a small temporary break in their taxes while giving yourselves a massive tax break through both personal income and corporate revisions which are mostly permanent.  You are doing all of this while raising the national debt and putting the financial burden for these breaks on future generations.  The uninformed poor myopically see a current small reduction in their taxes.  They fail to see the possible offsetting losses in the form of other taxes, fees and expenses (like healthcare), not to mention the future burden of the national debt.  They also fail to see that the very wealthy will get the biggest break of all, at their expense.

Without a certain constituent base that is poorly educated how can you, with a straight face, promise the return of jobs that are never to return?  (Trump speech Nevada, Feb 24, 2016, “...I love the poorly educated.”)  Coal is dead.  Small retail is dead.  Large retail is dying.  Mundane manufacturing jobs are being automated.  This is not Fake News.  Educated people know this.

Our mutual goals as a “want-to-be Democracy” should be to:

• ·        Eliminate the Electoral College or at least the “winner takes all” process.
• ·        Institute term limits for all members of congress
• ·        Establish official sites and sources for validated election information
• ·        Eliminate gerrymandering of voting districts
• ·        Vote independently for both the President and Vice-presidential positions
• ·        Establish uniform election laws for presidential elections
• ·        Demand annual full financial disclosure for all political positions on the national stage

The fact that Russia interfered with our last election and managed to have at least some perhaps never to be determined impact, is not disputed by reasonable observers.  It will be difficult to lessen this impact in future elections but we should at least strive to keep the process as clean and fair as possible.

Russian "Wedgie"

If you are among those who support the Republican Party, I would think that nothing proposed in the bullets above would be contrary to anything in your party’s declared platform.  If you are a Democrat, I would think these changes would be welcome.  If you are dissatisfied with the current administration, nothing here will change the situation.  You may however take some solace in the knowledge that, with his penchant for Big Macs, fries, strawberry shakes, diet Cokes, and buckets of KFC fried chicken, President Trump may not be long for this world.  

Be careful what you wish for however, Vice President Pence is a “whole other bucket of worms.”

Official 2017 Fall Tour of Canada and New England

Our fall vacation to New England and Canada involved two planes, one ship, 5 Uber cars, one cab, one van, two busses, a train, and 5 hurricanes.  All of this was planned with the possible exception of the hurricanes.  We always allow for one hurricane in our plans, but 5?  We had Harvey, Irma, Jose, Maria, and Nate to contend with in one form or another.  Harvey missed us entirely but interrupted our normal vacation preparation and Irma hit us with a glancing blow.  This glancing Irma supplied us with 55 to 70 mph sustained winds and 100 mph gusts.  Actually, the highest recorded gust was only 99 mph.  The fact remains that most people can't distinguish between being hit with a coconut going 99 mph and another going 100 mph.  They will both leave a mark.  It is also a fact that, if you have just been hit by two coconuts, you are obviously standing in the wrong place.

[Note:  Click on any picture for a larger and clearer image]

Hurricanes and Coconuts

Jose and Maria followed us up the Atlantic coast and threatened to turn our leisurely vacation into a queasy sea cruise with lots of Dramamine.  Our search for the wonders of fall color might end up with us viewing only the rainbow palette associated with partially digested food.

Tropical Map Before We Left Miami

For more information on hurricanes, see my Hurricanes For Dummies article.

Both hurricanes stayed off-shore.  It seems that president Trump's immigration policy prevented Jose and Maria from making landfall in the US.  Both of these Latinos were less than two weeks old and didn’t have time to get green cards.  The luck of the Irish travelers prevailed.  Our seas turned calm and we have since placed our year’s supply of Dramamine up for sale on EBay.  Eventually, remnants of Nate rumbled north and passed directly over our quiet spot in Vermont with no more wind than you might have in a good sneeze and rain that barely washed the dust off the local corn.  Nate had worn himself out with his travels.  I knew by then how he felt.

At the beginning of our trip, we stayed near the seaport in Boston.  We managed to assist the local economy by consuming lots of Nephropidae.  Most folks not trying to impress you with big words they just found on Wikipedia, would call them lobster.  We had boiled lobster, lobster bisque, lobster rolls, and lobster salad on this trip.  I grew up in Miami where we have a distant relative of the lobster, the claw-less crawfish.  I preferred the Florida lobster growing up, mainly because it was free.  It was free if you don't count the cost of the beer necessary for the trip to get the lobster.  Now that I have to pay for all lobster, I have to admit the ones with the big claws taste better.

Lobster Roll (note: click any picture to enlarge)

Factoid:  New research suggests that lobsters may not slow down, weaken, or lose fertility with age.  Actually, older lobster is more fertile than young lobster.  Before you begin envying this accomplishment, just know that any lobster who manages to miss being drenched in melted butter, will eventually die around age 50 anyway.  A lobster, when threatened, will quickly curl its tail and swim backwards at speeds approaching 11 mph.  This keeps them under the 15 mph limit as most lobster live in school zones.

Lobster School Zone

We were not alone on this cruise and I’m not just talking about the normal contingent of 2,340 Medicare recipients that boarded the NCL Norwegian Dawn in Boston.  We had as many as 14 in our personal group of merry makers.  The core of the group was Sue’s classmates from Weston, Massachusetts, and the remainder was spouses and friends of that clan.  Later in the trip, we were joined by four others who drove up to Quebec from Maine and Massachusetts.  A few dropped out in Quebec to go home and six of us eventually made it down to Montreal.  Sue and I then visited her brother in Vermont and later went back to Boston to rejoin part of the original group.  If this sounds confusing, it’s because it is confusing.  You don’t need to worry though as none of this will be on the test.

Boston Harbor

After leaving Boston, the ship first docked in Portland, Maine.   You should not confuse Portland, Maine with Portland, Oregon.  The people from Oregon are called Oregonians and the people from Maine are called Maineiacs.  Such terms are known as demonyms.  Much like the Bostonians to the south, Maineiacs have their own language.  For instance, a Maineiac won’t ask what you are doing, they will ask, Chuppta?  It also doesn’t get windy in Maine; it is “breezed up.”  When asked, any Maineiac will tell you that they have 4 seasons, "Almost-Wintah, Wintah,  Still-Wintah, and Road Construction."  If a Maineiac tells you that he "lost his khakis", he’s not missing his pants.  He just won’t be able to start his car.  If you ask a Maineiac if he has lived here all his life the likely response will be a drawling, “No......, not yet.”

Only in Maine

After Portland, we arrived in Nova Scotia where our ports were Halifax and Sydney.  We then stopped in Charlottetown on Prince Edward Island (PEI) where Sue and I took a tour with a German couple (Bernhard & Nina) we met the night before at our favorite bar, O'Sheehan's. 

Since most of our ports are not major attractions, most in our group opted for the unlimited beverage package.  With this cruise benefit, all alcoholic beverages are furnished at no additional charge.  I guess they have found that people who are hung over don’t eat so much or that if someone falls over the side their friends may not even miss them.  We found that 2,326 strangers (2,340 – our 14 = 2,326 strangers) are easier to enjoy when viewed through the misty haze of a couple of cocktails*.

[*couple of cocktails is defined as any number of drinks below 12, after which it just becomes ridiculous]

Our Cruising Crew at Dinner

The room Sue and I picked out was in an ideal location.  Just outside our cabin door was another door that provided quick access to a balcony overlooking our favorite bar and 24/7 eatery.  A short stroll across a lounge area with sofas and couches and we were at the top of a staircase that descended to the hostess stand for O’Sheehan’s.  It was here that one could eat and/or order from the unlimited cocktail menu.  By the end of our week aboard, we could navigate this path blindfolded.  Occasionally, this skill came in handy.

Our Balcony

At our ports in Nova Scotia and PEI, it was easy to observe that the locals’ favorite activity is to go down to the docks and watch the amusing tourists disembarking the latest-to-arrive cruise ship.  The cruise ship passengers disembark so they can, in turn, watch the amusing locals.  After watching each other for several hours, it was time for each group to return back from whence they came.

On Prince Edward Island the main tourist attraction was Anne of Green Gables.  Apparently there is a book set in a fictional town on PEI written by one of its former residents.  There is a local farm that served as inspiration for the book that has become the attraction.  The book was written in 1908 and is about a redheaded orphan girl.  While this predates the redheaded Little Orphan Annie comic strip character, which debuted in 1924, that strip was based on an 1885 poem.

Little Orphan Annie

Anne of Green Gables

I guess redheaded orphans were popular back then.  Why redheaded orphans are a major tourist attraction today, still escapes me.  Since none of us in our tour of PEI was even remotely familiar with the book, we just drove by the farmhouse without spending time there.  In Japan however, the book is required reading and is used to teach English to students.  I can't image that there are too many red-headed Japanese girls.  The farmhouse tour was very popular with the Japanese.

Sue's Weekend at Bernie's
(Actually Sue and I on Prince Edward Island across from the Green Gables farm)

We now come to the religious portion of our trip.  For those of you who don’t know me that well, just understand that the last time I attended a religious service, that was not a wedding or funeral, was probably in the early 1960’s.  I seem to spend more collective time in churches on vacation than would seem prudent for someone with my religious leanings.  In Miami, I wouldn’t think about entering a church without throwing in my shoe first to see if the ceiling would collapse.  In these out of the way places however, I feel safe.  The draw of churches on vacation is that, unlike Miami where any building over 10 years old lives in fear of the wrecking ball, these structures are often centuries old.  The architecture of these houses of worship is something to behold.

Church in Saguenay

After leaving Prince Edward Island, the ship’s captain found his way into the St. Lawrence River and managed a skillful right turn at Riviere Saguenay.  La Rivière Saguenay ou le Saguenay est une rivière située au Québec.  Sorry about that, I just slipped naturally into my inner-Frenchman.  It comes from eating too many croissants.  For those of you who may be reading this but don’t know about real French croissants, they are essentially butter, surrounded by butter, accompanied by a little pastry dough, which allows you to add more butter.

Croissant

However, I digress.  What were we talking about before I went all-French on you?  Oh yes, the captain made a right turn toward Saguenay.  We think this turn was on purpose but, with most of us on-board partaking of the unlimited beverage package, it makes sense that the captain may have been “listing a bit to starboard,” if you catch my drift.

Locals in Saguenay

In any case, we ended up in Saguenay where the list of “The Top Ten Things to Do in Saguenay” has only three things:  Saguenay Fjord National Park (basically "outside"), Musee du Fjord (a museum about “outside”), and the famous Musee de la Petite Maison Blanche (a tiny white house that managed to survive a flood in 1996).

Musee de la Petite Maison Blanche (survived 1996 flood)

A group of us hopped on a hop-on-hop-off bus and managed a hopping good time touring Saguenay.  Actually, Saguenay was a pretty little town filled with happy people.  Since, as mentioned above, Saguenay only has three attractions, we didn't hop off much.  Saguenay has only been a thing since 2002 when it was formed from three cities, two municipalities, and a township.  At one time, they actually had a Wal-Mart but it had to close when the workers tried to unionize.

Quebec City (Large Building at top of hill is the Fairmont Le Château Frontenac

Well, the captain finally sobered up (just kidding..., I think) and we found our way out of the Saguenay River and back to the St. Lawrence River where we floated down to Quebec City.  This would be the end of our official cruise and the end to our unlimited beverage package.  I’m not sure which we would miss the most.

Quebec City is actually Kébec, which means, “where the river narrows”.  I’ll have to trust that that is true as my Algonquin is a bit rusty and ranks right up there with my French, German, Spanish, Arabic, and any other language that is not English.  I am fluent in American-English, and not that stuff spoken by those British people who think they invented it.  Actually, I can understand Bostonians, New Yorkers, Californians, and even a few people from Georgia.

Fairmont Le Château Frontenac

The hotel above is referred to as the Frontenac and is claimed to be the most photographed hotel in the world.  It has over 600 rooms on 18 floors.  It was a luxury hotel built for the Canadian Pacific Railway and its more affluent visitors and opened in 1893.  It has a small but beautiful bar staffed by skilled bartenders.  I know they were skilled because they were the first mixologists who didn't have to reference a book to make my Rob Roy.

A Rob Roy (scotch, sweet vermouth, & Angostura bitters)

Bar at the Frontenac

Québec City dates back to 1535 when Jacques Cartier built a fort there.  A wall was built around the city in 1820 to protect it from attack by the Americans who had unsuccessfully attempted to annex Canada on two occasions.  I guess the wall worked since, after the War of 1812, America never tried to invade them again.

Queen Mary 2, St. Lawrence River, Quebec City

Our own band of adventurers had dwindled somewhat before venturing down to Montreal, and we were now six.  We took a train ride from Quebec to Montreal where we sat in comfortable seats, were fed a nice meal, and given cocktails and wine.  Not a bad way to spend three hours.

Quebec and Montreal were somewhat of a surprise.  I am more used to the Canadian Rockies where you see three elk, two bighorn sheep, and a bear for every person you meet.  I found out that some people actually live in Canada.  Who knew?  Coming from Miami, I always thought that folks just went to Quebec and Montreal to buy cars and license tags before driving to South Florida.  Some winters there are more people from Quebec and Montreal on our Miami roadways than pythons slithering through our neighborhoods.  For those of you who may not be aware, our last python census had the count just under 800,000, and I believe that figure is low.  Most pythons have difficulty filling out census forms and they don’t trust the government.  Nobody ever said that pythons were stupid. 

Florida's Backyard and New Senator

When you realize that the entire state of Vermont has just 624,594 people, Florida could spin off the Everglades as a separate state and we would have two more senators and one additional representative in Congress, all three of whom would be snakes.  I’m sure all three of them would feel right at home with the other congressional reptiles.  The newly formed Everglades State would still be larger in population than Wyoming, Vermont, North Dakota, Alaska, and the District of Columbia.  Since pythons are cold-blooded reptiles that slither close to the ground, crush their prey, and swallow things whole, I’m sure their political leanings would have them siding/slithering with ( □ the Democrats,  □ the Republicans).  I’ll let you pick, as either answer will be correct.

Notre Dame
(as seen from our hotel)

In Montreal, which is situated south of Quebec, they once again primarily speak French.  This being “the south” they say "bonjour y’all."  Luckily, everybody also spoke English.  Since most of these folks live in south Florida during the winter, I looked for familiar faces.  I saw a few, but they turned out to be members of our group.  Montreal has the largest French-speaking population outside Paris.  If you would like to go to Paris but can’t afford the trip, you might try Montreal.  You won’t find the Eiffel Tower, or the Louvre, but they do have a Notre Dame.

Inside Montreal's Notre Dame

This Notre Dame however, never saw Quasimodo or Esmeralda swinging on a rope or climbing up to its belfry yelling "Sanctuary."  Inside, is really a beautiful representation of Gothic Revival style architecture.  A church has been on this site since 1672.  Construction of the modern Notre Dame was begun in 1824 and finished in 1830.

Hunchback of Notre Dame (Charles Laughton & Maurine O'Hara)

A 32 foot pipe organ was completed in 1891, and had the first electrically operated foot pedals.  According to the literature, it features 7,000 pipes.  I'll take their word for it as I lost count around four.  I wonder how Ray Manzarek of The Doors would sound playing the long version of Light My Fire on such an instrument.  We can only wonder.

Casavant Frères Pipe Organ in Notre Dame

We took a tour of Montreal and went to the site of the 1967 World’s Fair (Expo 67) which took place oddly enough in 1967.  I’m sure the reason for the fair was to celebrate my graduating college that year as this was a watershed event in world history. Well, maybe only in my history.

U.S. Pavilion from 1967 Expo (World's Fair)

The US geodesic dome still stands among a few other exhibit buildings that were never designed to last more than a year or so.  I found footage shot at the Expo 67 by British Pathé news that provided a fascinating look of this bygone era.  A comment below the video mentioned that the writer was a bilingual guide at the US pavilion and that the shade panels wouldn’t retract as they were frozen by the cold weather and that the whole thing leaked so they needed umbrellas on wet days.  Since the theme of the pavilion was to extole US engineering prowess in advanced space technology, perhaps they should have counted on Canada getting cold and wet on occasion.

Geodesic Dome Design

This brings us to the end of our Official Fall Tour of Canada and New England.  Those of our group that survived this far boarded a bus back to the US.  Sue and I bailed the bus in Burlington, Vermont, and drove to New Haven, Vt., to spend time with her brother and some of his family.  We stopped at the Lincoln Peak Winery owned and operated by another of Sue’s classmates from Weston, Massachusetts.

Vermont Wine, Lincoln Peak Winery

Those Weston classmates seem to be everywhere.  When you realize that her class had fewer than 200 people and mine had over 1,000, you would think that I would run into more of my classmates.  I guess that surviving the 60’s was a bit tougher than surviving the 70’s.

Vermont Without Color (Russ & Jane's Backyard)

Vermont With Color

Vermont was beautiful and the fall was finally providing us with the kaleidoscopic orgy of leaf hues we were seeking.  We then drove to Natick, Mass., where we rejoined friends with whom we had so recently traveled.  We spent some much-needed downtime with them before heading home.

Vermont Color

After landing in Ft. Lauderdale, the trip home was uneventful if not a reminder of south Florida traffic.  It took us only 3 hours to travel the 1,484 miles from Boston’s Logan Airport to Fort Lauderdale’s airport.  It then took 1 hour, 28 minutes and 16 seconds to drive the 40.7 miles from the Ft. Lauderdale Airport to our home.  Those last 16 seconds were delightful.  Our Uber driver, Sintiar, spoke no English, but my high school Spanish consisting of: “esta calle, gira aquí, a la derecha, and no, no, me refería a la izquierda,” saved the day.  The translation of this: this street, turn here, to the right, and no, no, I meant left.

Uber Receipt With Mileage and Time Stamp

Actually, I think Sintiar ignored my utterings and just followed the Spanish version of Google maps on her smartphone.

Home, Sweet Home.