Opinions by Jack: Official 2017 Fall Tour of Canada and New England

Our fall vacation to New England and Canada involved two planes, one ship, 5 Uber cars, one cab, one van, two busses, a train, and 5 hurricanes. All of this was planned with the possible exception of the hurricanes. We always allow for one hurricane in our plans, but 5? We had Harvey, Irma, Jose, Maria, and Nate to contend with in one form or another. Harvey missed us entirely but interrupted our normal vacation preparation and Irma hit us with a glancing blow. This glancing Irma supplied us with 55 to 70 mph sustained winds and 100 mph gusts. Actually, the highest recorded gust was only 99 mph. The fact remains that most people can't distinguish between being hit with a coconut going 99 mph and another going 100 mph. They will both leave a mark. It is also a fact that, if you have just been hit by two coconuts, you are obviously standing in the wrong place.

[Note: Click on any picture for a larger and clearer image]

Hurricanes and Coconuts

Jose and Maria followed us up the Atlantic coast and threatened to turn our leisurely vacation into a queasy sea cruise with lots of Dramamine. Our search for the wonders of fall color might end up with us viewing only the rainbow palette associated with partially digested food.

Tropical Map Before We Left Miami

For more information on hurricanes, see my Hurricanes For Dummies article.

Both hurricanes stayed off-shore. It seems that president Trump's immigration policy prevented Jose and Maria from making landfall in the US. Both of these Latinos were less than two weeks old and didn’t have time to get green cards. The luck of the Irish travelers prevailed. Our seas turned calm and we have since placed our year’s supply of Dramamine up for sale on EBay. Eventually, remnants of Nate rumbled north and passed directly over our quiet spot in Vermont with no more wind than you might have in a good sneeze and rain that barely washed the dust off the local corn. Nate had worn himself out with his travels. I knew by then how he felt.

At the beginning of our trip, we stayed near the seaport in Boston. We managed to assist the local economy by consuming lots of Nephropidae. Most folks not trying to impress you with big words they just found on Wikipedia, would call them lobster. We had boiled lobster, lobster bisque, lobster rolls, and lobster salad on this trip. I grew up in Miami where we have a distant relative of the lobster, the claw-less crawfish. I preferred the Florida lobster growing up, mainly because it was free. It was free if you don't count the cost of the beer necessary for the trip to get the lobster. Now that I have to pay for all lobster, I have to admit the ones with the big claws taste better.

Lobster Roll (note: click any picture to enlarge)

Factoid: New research suggests that lobsters may not slow down, weaken, or lose fertility with age. Actually, older lobster is more fertile than young lobster. Before you begin envying this accomplishment, just know that any lobster who manages to miss being drenched in melted butter, will eventually die around age 50 anyway. A lobster, when threatened, will quickly curl its tail and swim backwards at speeds approaching 11 mph. This keeps them under the 15 mph limit as most lobster live in school zones.

Lobster School Zone

We were not alone on this cruise and I’m not just talking about the normal contingent of 2,340 Medicare recipients that boarded the NCL Norwegian Dawn in Boston. We had as many as 14 in our personal group of merry makers. The core of the group was Sue’s classmates from Weston, Massachusetts, and the remainder was spouses and friends of that clan. Later in the trip, we were joined by four others who drove up to Quebec from Maine and Massachusetts. A few dropped out in Quebec to go home and six of us eventually made it down to Montreal. Sue and I then visited her brother in Vermont and later went back to Boston to rejoin part of the original group. If this sounds confusing, it’s because it is confusing. You don’t need to worry though as none of this will be on the test.

Boston Harbor

After leaving Boston, the ship first docked in Portland, Maine. You should not confuse Portland, Maine with Portland, Oregon. The people from Oregon are called Oregonians and the people from Maine are called Maineiacs. Such terms are known as demonyms. Much like the Bostonians to the south, Maineiacs have their own language. For instance, a Maineiac won’t ask what you are doing, they will ask, Chuppta? It also doesn’t get windy in Maine; it is “breezed up.” When asked, any Maineiac will tell you that they have 4 seasons, "Almost-Wintah, Wintah, Still-Wintah, and Road Construction." If a Maineiac tells you that he "lost his khakis", he’s not missing his pants. He just won’t be able to start his car. If you ask a Maineiac if he has lived here all his life the likely response will be a drawling, “No......, not yet.”

Only in Maine

After Portland, we arrived in Nova Scotia where our ports were Halifax and Sydney. We then stopped in Charlottetown on Prince Edward Island (PEI) where Sue and I took a tour with a German couple (Bernhard & Nina) we met the night before at our favorite bar, O'Sheehan's.

Since most of our ports are not major attractions, most in our group opted for the unlimited beverage package. With this cruise benefit, all alcoholic beverages are furnished at no additional charge. I guess they have found that people who are hung over don’t eat so much or that if someone falls over the side their friends may not even miss them. We found that 2,326 strangers (2,340 – our 14 = 2,326 strangers) are easier to enjoy when viewed through the misty haze of a couple of cocktails*.

[*couple of cocktails is defined as any number of drinks below 12, after which it just becomes ridiculous]

Our Cruising Crew at Dinner

The room Sue and I picked out was in an ideal location. Just outside our cabin door was another door that provided quick access to a balcony overlooking our favorite bar and 24/7 eatery. A short stroll across a lounge area with sofas and couches and we were at the top of a staircase that descended to the hostess stand for O’Sheehan’s. It was here that one could eat and/or order from the unlimited cocktail menu. By the end of our week aboard, we could navigate this path blindfolded. Occasionally, this skill came in handy.

Our Balcony

At our ports in Nova Scotia and PEI, it was easy to observe that the locals’ favorite activity is to go down to the docks and watch the amusing tourists disembarking the latest-to-arrive cruise ship. The cruise ship passengers disembark so they can, in turn, watch the amusing locals. After watching each other for several hours, it was time for each group to return back from whence they came.

On Prince Edward Island the main tourist attraction was Anne of Green Gables. Apparently there is a book set in a fictional town on PEI written by one of its former residents. There is a local farm that served as inspiration for the book that has become the attraction. The book was written in 1908 and is about a redheaded orphan girl. While this predates the redheaded Little Orphan Annie comic strip character, which debuted in 1924, that strip was based on an 1885 poem.

Little Orphan Annie

Anne of Green Gables

I guess redheaded orphans were popular back then. Why redheaded orphans are a major tourist attraction today, still escapes me. Since none of us in our tour of PEI was even remotely familiar with the book, we just drove by the farmhouse without spending time there. In Japan however, the book is required reading and is used to teach English to students. I can't image that there are too many red-headed Japanese girls. The farmhouse tour was very popular with the Japanese.

Sue's Weekend at Bernie's
(Actually Sue and I on Prince Edward Island across from the Green Gables farm)

We now come to the religious portion of our trip. For those of you who don’t know me that well, just understand that the last time I attended a religious service, that was not a wedding or funeral, was probably in the early 1960’s. I seem to spend more collective time in churches on vacation than would seem prudent for someone with my religious leanings. In Miami, I wouldn’t think about entering a church without throwing in my shoe first to see if the ceiling would collapse. In these out of the way places however, I feel safe. The draw of churches on vacation is that, unlike Miami where any building over 10 years old lives in fear of the wrecking ball, these structures are often centuries old. The architecture of these houses of worship is something to behold.

Church in Saguenay

After leaving Prince Edward Island, the ship’s captain found his way into the St. Lawrence River and managed a skillful right turn at Riviere Saguenay. La Rivière Saguenay ou le Saguenay est une rivière située au Québec. Sorry about that, I just slipped naturally into my inner-Frenchman. It comes from eating too many croissants. For those of you who may be reading this but don’t know about real French croissants, they are essentially butter, surrounded by butter, accompanied by a little pastry dough, which allows you to add more butter.

Croissant

However, I digress. What were we talking about before I went all-French on you? Oh yes, the captain made a right turn toward Saguenay. We think this turn was on purpose but, with most of us on-board partaking of the unlimited beverage package, it makes sense that the captain may have been “listing a bit to starboard,” if you catch my drift.

Locals in Saguenay

In any case, we ended up in Saguenay where the list of “The Top Ten Things to Do in Saguenay” has only three things: Saguenay Fjord National Park (basically "outside"), Musee du Fjord (a museum about “outside”), and the famous Musee de la Petite Maison Blanche (a tiny white house that managed to survive a flood in 1996).

Musee de la Petite Maison Blanche (survived 1996 flood)

A group of us hopped on a hop-on-hop-off bus and managed a hopping good time touring Saguenay. Actually, Saguenay was a pretty little town filled with happy people. Since, as mentioned above, Saguenay only has three attractions, we didn't hop off much. Saguenay has only been a thing since 2002 when it was formed from three cities, two municipalities, and a township. At one time, they actually had a Wal-Mart but it had to close when the workers tried to unionize.

Quebec City (Large Building at top of hill is the Fairmont Le Château Frontenac

Well, the captain finally sobered up (just kidding..., I think) and we found our way out of the Saguenay River and back to the St. Lawrence River where we floated down to Quebec City. This would be the end of our official cruise and the end to our unlimited beverage package. I’m not sure which we would miss the most.

Quebec City is actually Kébec, which means, “where the river narrows”. I’ll have to trust that that is true as my Algonquin is a bit rusty and ranks right up there with my French, German, Spanish, Arabic, and any other language that is not English. I am fluent in American-English, and not that stuff spoken by those British people who think they invented it. Actually, I can understand Bostonians, New Yorkers, Californians, and even a few people from Georgia.

Fairmont Le Château Frontenac

The hotel above is referred to as the Frontenac and is claimed to be the most photographed hotel in the world. It has over 600 rooms on 18 floors. It was a luxury hotel built for the Canadian Pacific Railway and its more affluent visitors and opened in 1893. It has a small but beautiful bar staffed by skilled bartenders. I know they were skilled because they were the first mixologists who didn't have to reference a book to make my Rob Roy.

A Rob Roy (scotch, sweet vermouth, & Angostura bitters)

Bar at the Frontenac

Québec City dates back to 1535 when Jacques Cartier built a fort there. A wall was built around the city in 1820 to protect it from attack by the Americans who had unsuccessfully attempted to annex Canada on two occasions. I guess the wall worked since, after the War of 1812, America never tried to invade them again.

Queen Mary 2, St. Lawrence River, Quebec City

Our own band of adventurers had dwindled somewhat before venturing down to Montreal, and we were now six. We took a train ride from Quebec to Montreal where we sat in comfortable seats, were fed a nice meal, and given cocktails and wine. Not a bad way to spend three hours.

Quebec and Montreal were somewhat of a surprise. I am more used to the Canadian Rockies where you see three elk, two bighorn sheep, and a bear for every person you meet. I found out that some people actually live in Canada. Who knew? Coming from Miami, I always thought that folks just went to Quebec and Montreal to buy cars and license tags before driving to South Florida. Some winters there are more people from Quebec and Montreal on our Miami roadways than pythons slithering through our neighborhoods. For those of you who may not be aware, our last python census had the count just under 800,000, and I believe that figure is low. Most pythons have difficulty filling out census forms and they don’t trust the government. Nobody ever said that pythons were stupid.

Florida's Backyard and New Senator

When you realize that the entire state of Vermont has just 624,594 people, Florida could spin off the Everglades as a separate state and we would have two more senators and one additional representative in Congress, all three of whom would be snakes. I’m sure all three of them would feel right at home with the other congressional reptiles. The newly formed Everglades State would still be larger in population than Wyoming, Vermont, North Dakota, Alaska, and the District of Columbia. Since pythons are cold-blooded reptiles that slither close to the ground, crush their prey, and swallow things whole, I’m sure their political leanings would have them siding/slithering with ( □ the Democrats, □ the Republicans). I’ll let you pick, as either answer will be correct.

Notre Dame
(as seen from our hotel)

In Montreal, which is situated south of Quebec, they once again primarily speak French. This being “the south” they say "bonjour y’all." Luckily, everybody also spoke English. Since most of these folks live in south Florida during the winter, I looked for familiar faces. I saw a few, but they turned out to be members of our group. Montreal has the largest French-speaking population outside Paris. If you would like to go to Paris but can’t afford the trip, you might try Montreal. You won’t find the Eiffel Tower, or the Louvre, but they do have a Notre Dame.

Inside Montreal's Notre Dame

This Notre Dame however, never saw Quasimodo or Esmeralda swinging on a rope or climbing up to its belfry yelling "Sanctuary." Inside, is really a beautiful representation of Gothic Revival style architecture. A church has been on this site since 1672. Construction of the modern Notre Dame was begun in 1824 and finished in 1830.

Hunchback of Notre Dame (Charles Laughton & Maurine O'Hara)

A 32 foot pipe organ was completed in 1891, and had the first electrically operated foot pedals. According to the literature, it features 7,000 pipes. I'll take their word for it as I lost count around four. I wonder how Ray Manzarek of The Doors would sound playing the long version of Light My Fire on such an instrument. We can only wonder.

Casavant Frères Pipe Organ in Notre Dame

We took a tour of Montreal and went to the site of the 1967 World’s Fair (Expo 67) which took place oddly enough in 1967. I’m sure the reason for the fair was to celebrate my graduating college that year as this was a watershed event in world history. Well, maybe only in my history.

U.S. Pavilion from 1967 Expo (World's Fair)

The US geodesic dome still stands among a few other exhibit buildings that were never designed to last more than a year or so. I found footage shot at the Expo 67 by British Pathé news that provided a fascinating look of this bygone era. A comment below the video mentioned that the writer was a bilingual guide at the US pavilion and that the shade panels wouldn’t retract as they were frozen by the cold weather and that the whole thing leaked so they needed umbrellas on wet days. Since the theme of the pavilion was to extole US engineering prowess in advanced space technology, perhaps they should have counted on Canada getting cold and wet on occasion.

Geodesic Dome Design

This brings us to the end of our Official Fall Tour of Canada and New England. Those of our group that survived this far boarded a bus back to the US. Sue and I bailed the bus in Burlington, Vermont, and drove to New Haven, Vt., to spend time with her brother and some of his family. We stopped at the Lincoln Peak Winery owned and operated by another of Sue’s classmates from Weston, Massachusetts.

Vermont Wine, Lincoln Peak Winery

Those Weston classmates seem to be everywhere. When you realize that her class had fewer than 200 people and mine had over 1,000, you would think that I would run into more of my classmates. I guess that surviving the 60’s was a bit tougher than surviving the 70’s.

Vermont Without Color (Russ & Jane's Backyard)

Vermont With Color

Vermont was beautiful and the fall was finally providing us with the kaleidoscopic orgy of leaf hues we were seeking. We then drove to Natick, Mass., where we rejoined friends with whom we had so recently traveled. We spent some much-needed downtime with them before heading home.

Vermont Color

After landing in Ft. Lauderdale, the trip home was uneventful if not a reminder of south Florida traffic. It took us only 3 hours to travel the 1,484 miles from Boston’s Logan Airport to Fort Lauderdale’s airport. It then took 1 hour, 28 minutes and 16 seconds to drive the 40.7 miles from the Ft. Lauderdale Airport to our home. Those last 16 seconds were delightful. Our Uber driver, Sintiar, spoke no English, but my high school Spanish consisting of: “esta calle, gira aquí, a la derecha, and no, no, me refería a la izquierda,” saved the day. The translation of this: this street, turn here, to the right, and no, no, I meant left.