President Donald Trump: “What Do You Think Of Me So Far?

Well, to be perfectly honest sir, some things could have gone better.  Your recent trip of foreign diplomacy has had mixed reviews.  Saudi Arabia and Israel seemed happy to see you, the rest of Europe, not so much.  The British, Germans, and French don’t seem to be your biggest fans.  Even the pope looked like he would rather be sitting on a prayer rug in a mosque in Kabul, than to be standing next to you.

Smiling Trump----------------------------The Pope       

On a brighter note, I can’t think of another time in history when almost half of all Americans could name the presidential line of succession down to its fifth layer.  Trump, Pence, Ryan, Hatch, and Tillerson are the current line-up.  Your guess is as good as mine as to why they would know this.

Line of Succession as of June 1, 2017, subject to change.

I’m sure this knowledge comes partly from television shows like Designated Survivor, House of Cards, The West Wing, Scandal, and Madam Secretary.  However, yours is the biggest reality show on TV and naturally gets only the highest of ratings.  This is perhaps because it is carried by CNN, Fox, and MSNBC 24/7 ad-nauseam.  That show is the Donald Trump Breaking News Show.  These three networks hang on your every tweet.  Everyone tunes in.  Half of the audience is hoping you have screwed up something that will get you impeached but without the world imploding.  The other half of the country is hoping you prove they were right in voting for you by actually bringing back their jobs without cutting their benefits.

Most of us now have Breaking News numbness.  It was rumored that for a short while the CNN Breaking News graphic had to be taken off line to cool down.  Wolf Blitzer was forced to temporarily use the old, “This Just In” phrase that doesn’t really have the same impact.

I’m sure most would agree that your firing of James Comey, while he was in the midst of investigating you and your associates, could have been handled better.  You will probably survive the independent counsel investigation, but some of your friends may not fare so well.  Just a point here, when they talk about Russian ties, they are not talking about the silk things you wear eight inches past your belt line.  Although, to be fair, your ties are not made in Russia.  They are made in China, Bangladesh, Honduras, and Vietnam, along with your Trump shirts and suits.

The Borscht Thickens  

Again, on a positive note, you have managed to confuse folks with your seemingly random position changes.  We hope that your “rope-a-dope” antics are really a tactic and not just general confusion.  We are all waiting for you to come off the ropes and say something eloquent and meaningful.  The rope-a-dope only works if you eventually stop the beating and go on to win the fight.  On a personal note, both you and Ali are from the same area of the world.  You are of German/Scottish ancestry (mother was a Scottish immigrant seeking a better life in America) and Ali was Irish.  Ali’s great-grandfather emigrated from Ennis, County Clare, Ireland in the 1860’s.

The Rope-A-Dope          

So far, your presidency has parallels with another of America’s great presidents.  Richard M. Nixon.  Both you and President Nixon were maligned by the press.  You both made inroads with China.  You both fired people who were investigating your offices.  (Nixon ordered the firing of Archibald Cox and you fired James Comey.)  Both of your White House press secretaries (Ron Ziegler and Sean Spicer) struggled to explain a White House with more positions than the Kamasutra. 

Kamasutra Positions

Nixon hired young political operatives to disrupt the campaigns of Democratic candidates.  You only encouraged the Russian government to hack Hillary Clinton’s emails.  I’m sure you had nothing to do with the hacking of the Democratic National Committee and the subsequent release of damaging information to WikiLeaks.

Another similarity, both of you know how to use your thumbs.

Thumb Use, Nixon's Looks Bigger

You won the presidential election by letting Hillary Clinton and the Democratic National Committee know that there are no rules in a knife fight.  Harvey Logan learned this bitter lesson from Butch Cassidy in the movie that bears his name.

Rules?  In a knife fight?

You seemed surprised when, after you promised to fix Obamacare in a matter of weeks, you found it to be “complicated.”  Who could have seen that coming?  It could be simple.  You might just copy the highly successful health care plan worked out for members of Congress.  They have unlimited coverage for life.  They all seem happy.  Why not just give that same plan to the rest of us?  Upon closer examination, by a local class of third graders, it would seem that plan would bankrupt the nation. 

Perhaps you should look internationally and pay a visit to Singapore.  According to Bloomberg Financial, the Singapore system is the world's most efficient.  By contrast, the US spends over 17% of its GDP on healthcare (2014 numbers).  This is higher than any other nation in the world.  Singapore comes in at 4.9% of GDP spent on healthcare.

We spend more of our GDP on healthcare than anyone else, and yet we rank 37^th in the world in quality.  This is according to World Health Organization statistics.  Singapore BTW, ranks 6^th.  You could also look to Physicians for a National Health Program which has done a good job evaluating the Single Payer system.  I will agree Obamacare looks like a thoroughbred designed by a committee.  That’s because it was designed by a committee.  We can certainly do better. You have the House, the Senate, the Supreme Court, and half a dozen family members supporting you.  What are you waiting for?

Thoroughbred Designed By A Committee

Well, between:

• that annoying little North Korean munchkin launching missiles every other day;
• repealing and replacing Obamacare;
• trying to build a gazillion peso wall on the southern border;
• several investigations into you, your staff, your family, and your advisors with regard to their ties to Russia;
• the persistent laughter of Vladimir Putin ringing in your ears;
• a war with the media;
• insomnia (assumed by your tweeting schedule);
• constipation (assumed because much of the time you seem full of ....);
• destroying our environment  *1
  
• deporting and blocking immigrants (what would your immigrant mother have said?)
• creating thousands of manufacturing and mining jobs in areas without factories or mines; and
• problems with ISIS, Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Syria, Russia, Germany, England, Canada, Australia, France and NATO;

you would seem to have your little hands full.

Nuke the Chinese

Remember, it’s not called paranoia if they really are out to get you.

Background Music Playing Fail To The Chief

*1   The destruction of our environment (you just pulled the US out of the Paris climate agreement) could just be a clever tactic on your part to solve all of the problems in the Middle East.  Just make the whole place too damned hot for anyone to live and, problem solved.  Are you that clever?   Hmmm! 

Wait, I just remembered.  You don't believe in climate change.  Just when I think you've done something clever I realize my mistake.  No one should assume you are clever.  Dumb luck at times perhaps, but never clever.

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FOOTNOTE

You claimed that you pulled out of the Paris climate agreement because you were elected by the people of Pittsburgh and not the people of Paris.  I'm sure you didn't realize it when you spoke but the city of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania voted overwhelmingly for Hillary Clinton (by a margin of over 108,000).  When you go to spin this later on you can probably get Sean Spicer to say you were talking about Pittsburgh, Oklahoma (in corn country) and not the one in Pennsylvania's coal country.  The Oklahoma folks aren't too concerned about climate change.  But, if they ever figure out that their recent droughts and wildfires are connected to the weather, they might have a change of heart.