Presidential Pets

Ever since our very first president (who was George Washington for those of you in Texas who may have had that fact cut from your curriculum), presidents have had pets.  George started things off by having a parrot named Polly and 36 hounds.  Throughout the years, a variety of critters would call themselves among the presidential pets.  Thomas Jefferson had a Mockingbird and two bear cubs, and John Q. Adams had an alligator and silkworms.  Adam’s alligator lived for a number of months in the East Room of the White House so it is certain he wasn’t interested in “draining the swamp” any more than its current occupant.

First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt with First Raccoon

Teddy Roosevelt perhaps tops the presidential pet list by having  a retriever, a Pekingese, a mutt, two terriers, two cats, a badger, one pony, a macaw, a piebald rat, a garter snake, twelve horses, five bears, five guinea pigs, other snakes, two kangaroo rats, lizards, roosters, an owl, a flying squirrel, a raccoon, a coyote, a lion, a hyena, and a zebra.  No one had seen this much shit coming out of the White House until the current administration.  As with most things, the Trump White House has exceeded all expectations in this regard.

We have had sheep, cows, pigs, rabbits, goats, an opossum, a donkey, and an elephant at the White House.  Oddly enough, the elephant was owned by James Buchanan who was a Democrat and the donkey belonged to Calvin Coolidge, a Republican.  Go figure.

Ever since the Warren G. Harding administration of the early 1920’s, all presidents have had dogs among their listed “first pets.”  Two of the more famous pets were Lyndon Johnson’s beagle Freckles and Nixon’s Checkers.  The latter dog became the star of the famous Nixon "Checkers Speech" where, denying any wrongdoing accepting gifts, did acknowledge receipt of the cocker spaniel.

Nixon with Checkers

Among the presidential pet funny stories is the one where, when the sire of President Johnson’s beagle Freckles, died, J. Edgar Hoover (FBI director) gifted Johnson a new beagle they named J. Edgar.  Eventually, they dropped the “J” and just called him Edgar.  One day Johnson and Hoover were walking on the White House lawn when Johnson called out, “Edgar, come here!”  Somewhat confused Director Hoover replied, “But I am here, Mr. President.”

President Johnson picks up his beagle by the ears

This brings us to times that are more modern.  Clinton had Buddy, a chocolate Lab, G,.W. Bush had a spaniel named Spot and Miss Beazley a Scottish terrier, and Barack Obama had Portuguese water dogs named Bo and Sunny.

What about President Trump, you ask?  Well, it seems he doesn’t like dogs, or cats, or rabbits, or any animal he can’t ridicule and fire.  A good friend, Lois Pope, is the wife of the founder of the only newspaper with Pure Facts, The National Enquirer.  Mrs. Pope found Patton, a Goldendoodle named after Trump’s idol, General Patton.  She presented the dog to Trump and son Barron at Mar-a-Lago.

Goldendoodle, Patton

Trump said he is too busy for a dog as he headed out to play another round of golf.  Patton would have to find a new home.  As Ivana, the 1977-1992 Mrs. Trump, would say, "how can you not love something that greets you like it won the lottery just because you walked through the door?"  I guess he has his cabinet for all of that.

Trump is too busy for a dog, it's rough.

So, as presidential dogs go, Eric Trump is the temporary pet appointee for the White House.  He doesn’t seem to have any other duties so First Dog will be his role.  I understand that he has been paper-trained, is hypoallergenic, has been wormed, and will fetch if you reward him with a treat and scratch him behind his ears.

Scratch him behind the ears, just don't try to pick him up by them.

Apparently, Eric has learned to roll over and play dead, can sit up, walk on his hind legs, and a few other simple tricks.  While we make fun of his goofy looks, he may be the brightest Trump in the family.