Donald HH Trump

I’ve thought long and hard on this one because, when it comes to name-calling, I’m talking about the idiot savant of name-callers. He is so well known for his derogatory “nicknames” for politicians, celebrities, and foreign leaders, he has a dedicated Wikipedia page that currently lists over 130 such names. He has 11 names just for Joe Biden. A measure of your importance may be calculated by the number of names he comes up with. Ron DeSantis has 7 while Ted Cruz has but 3 and Mitch McConnell only 2. Mitch is “Broken Old Crow” and “Disloyal Sleaze Bag.”

Donald HH Trump

Donald HH Trump is what I have come up with for our tarnished golden boy. The HH stands for Human Hemorrhoid. So, why the Human Hemorrhoid? Unlike a regular pain in the ass, this is more serious. “The Donald” is that irritating swollen mass of tissue that dangles from the national psyche. He is right at home when he is up to his eyeballs in sh!t. He glorifies international despots like Jinping, Putin, and Jong-un because they have achieved what he can’t in what’s left of our democracy.

Money is his “Preparation H” but only when that money belongs to other people and is now heading his way with his persistent grift. Money headed in the other direction is more like that three-alarm chili he had for lunch, it was great going down but now it hurts like hell when he has to pay. He doesn't like to pay for anything.

My first runner-up in the name game was Carbuncle Don because a carbuncle refers to a severe abscess in the skin infected with bacteria. In Britain, it is also used to describe anything that is unsightly or visually intrusive. While that would have been descriptive, I still felt he needed something that captures his essence. He certainly warrants more than, “The Donald.”

To me, the Human Hemorrhoid is more an anthropomorphism than a personification as it refers to a non-human entity consciously behaving like a human. A personification would refer to something nonhuman acquiring human characteristics and our reference here is to something that can’t be described in regular human terms.

So, understanding my thought process here, I believe I will begin using the nickname, Donald HH Trump to refer to his royal Trumpness. It rolls off the tongue, is easier than spelling out hemorrhoid, and gets people to ask, what’s with the HH?

Our Fascination With Trump

Donald John Trump was not of any interest to me before he became the nominee for the 2016 presidential election. I knew of him before then, but I had no interest in anything he was doing. Since that time, however, he has sucked all the air out of the room at a national level. He occupies more news cycles than school shootings, tornados, fires, and floods combined. He demands attention like a stick of dynamite with a lit fuse. He could go off at any minute and say something profoundly stupid and you have to be ready.  You need to hang on to every word because much of what he says will not make much sense.

While going over some memorable Trump quotes, I found one that rather sums up the Trump mentality. It was from an Esquire magazine interview from January 2004. "As a kid, I was making a building with blocks in our playroom. I didn't have enough. So I asked my younger brother Robert if I could borrow some of his. He said, 'Okay, but you have to give them back when you're done.' I used all of my blocks, then all of his blocks, and when I was done, I had a great building, which I then glued together. Robert never did get those blocks back."

People like John Wayne Gacy, Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer, Adolph Hitler, Benito Mussolini, and Vladimir Putin might all be said to lack empathy, and all were devoid of any conscience that would make their behavior uncomfortable to them. The terms sociopath and psychopath are not formal mental disorders, at least as might be identified in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. In common usage, the only difference between a sociopath and a psychopath is a matter of degree where a sociopath might have a weak conscience. A sociopath might feel some sense of guilt but it won’t alter their behavior. A psychopath just sees others as objects he can use for his own benefit. Both diagnoses are professionally lumped together and called antisocial personality disorder or APD.

A third mental disorder is termed narcissistic personality disorder or NPD. Individuals with this developmental deviation from normally accepted behavior exhibit certain traits. They put themselves first, crave attention, exaggerate talents and achievements, believe they are special, have wide mood swings, strive to win using any means at their disposal, and fantasize about unlimited success, money, and power. Such individuals can’t take criticism, refuse to take responsibility, attempt to manipulate others, react with rage, shame others, don’t listen and they regularly interrupt others. Failure is not only not an option but also beyond their acceptance even with all evidence to the contrary.

Mental disorders are like pornography, hard to define but you know it when you see it. In Trump’s case, I see elements of APD and NPD and perhaps that is what makes him like a burning building, and we can’t look away. So, while I can understand the fascination with the man, I don’t understand the adoration. What must be lacking in someone’s life that they feel an attraction to a person exhibiting these traits? Are their lives so boring that he provides the excitement they crave? Does he do things they wish they could do but lack the means? Perhaps they too have some of his traits to a lesser degree and see him as some champion.

However you see this person, it is difficult to be indifferent about your feelings. You either love him or hate him as there is little room for indifference. The only other emotion that seems prominent is fear. I don’t think people like Lindsay Graham like Donald Trump but they fear him to the point where they would go on national television and beg for donations on his behalf. The fact that people would donate the money they can’t easily spare to a man who started his political career stating, “I don’t need anybody’s money. It’s nice. I don’t need anybody’s money. I’m using my own money. I’m not using the lobbyists. I’m not using donors. I don’t care. I’m really rich, I’ll show you that in a second.” That was in 2016 and we are still waiting for him to voluntarily show us his financials.

I’ll leave you with a few quotes from the man himself to see if you can figure him out.

“My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.” New York Post, 2011

“I was down there, and I watched our police and our firemen, down on 7-Eleven, down at the World Trade Center, right after it came down.” Said at an event in Buffalo, NY, in 2016

"Show me someone with no ego and I'll show you a big loser." From How to Get Rich, 2004

"My favorite part [of Pulp Fiction] is when Sam has his gun out in the diner and he tells the guy to tell his girlfriend to shut up. 'Tell that bitch to be cool. Say: Bitch be cool.' I love those lines." From The Art of Being the Donald, 2005

“I won’t do anything to take care of them. I’ll supply funds and she’ll take care of the kids. It’s not like I’m gonna be walking the kids down Central Park.”  Trump discussing marriage and parenthood during Howard Stern interview, 2005