DOGE at the Barbershop

Yesterday, I made my occasional trip to the barbershop. I’ve been going to the same place for over three decades. After each of my last two barbers died, I gave up on being dedicated to just one. The other barbers are probably thankful with my decision as they seem to be a superstitious lot. I gave my first available barber my usual instruction, “Número cuatro a los lados y un poco arriba,” and sat back to see if my Spanish still worked.

While sitting in my chair listening to the native language of Miami being spoken, I noticed the work of the maestro across the narrow aisle from me. He was giving his customer the usual whitewall cut that is popular these days, very short on the sides with a little left on the top if possible.

What was interesting was that, while using his electric cutting machine of choice, the barber was looking not at the customer’s head, but at the soccer match on the big television at the front of the store. He smiled, commented, cheered, and looked continually at the activities on the soccer field. He almost never looked down, pausing only long enough to use his hands to further express his emotions about whatever just happened in the match. He completed about 70% of that man’s haircut while his eyes were fixed on the screen.

I likened his dedication to his chosen profession in much the same way as Elon Musk and his minions are dealing with the US Economy. In their quest to find fraud, corruption, and immense waste in government, they don’t need to pay attention to where they are cutting, it is all the same to them. They don’t need to be careful until they get near the top. Just cut everything else with reckless abandon. If you cut something important and the customer bleeds, just go back and wipe it with a cloth or bandage it if necessary.