Donald's Coat of Many Colors

 Donald’s Coat of Many Colors

Octopuses have exceptional camouflage capabilities. They can change color, texture, and shape to blend into their surroundings. They have specialized skin cells called chromatophores, pigment filled sacs that expand and contract to change colors and create patterns. Their skin can be smooth one second and bumpy the next. They have iridophores to create iridescence and leucophores to reflect light. The mimic octopus can shape shift to pretend to be other creatures like flatfish or sea snakes.

So too can Donald Trump adapt to his surroundings. One minute he is a Bible holding evangelical praying with the self-appointed faithful and moments later he is groping an unwilling female. He can stand tall and be forgiving of Nazis in full costume carrying torches and then turn to sympathize with the plight of Israel. He will vehemently attack undocumented immigrants while quietly hiring them as cheap labor for his properties. He can feign outrage at law breakers in Detroit and Chicago, yet free those arrested for violent crimes committed at his bequest.

One of his greatest strengths is to unashamedly take simultaneous positions on different sides of issues and let people hear what they want. Is he serious, was he joking, is he being facetious, or is he just negotiating to get the upper hand? Just say it all and take credit for whatever seems to work in the moment. He can be shown a video of himself and, with a straight face say, “Did I say that? I can’t believe I would say that.”

Perhaps most telling about Donald Trump’s past was his fascination with WWE and professional wrestling. This “sport” is where wrestlers play characters with clear motivations. Matches tell a story of triumph, failure, or redemption. The emotional roller coaster keeps fans excited and entertained. It is this excitement that draws the fans. The wrestlers are more artists than athletes. They create characters that resonate with the audience.

So too, The Donald struts about the political ring like Gorgeous George, that professional wrestler from the First Golden Age of wrestling of the 40s and 50s. George had long blonde hair adorned with gold-plated bobby pins he called, Georgie Pins. He strolled into the ring to the sounds of Pomp and Circumstance wearing a sequined robe followed by his valet. George played the villain and he would cheat at every opportunity. The crowds ate it up.

Trump’s audience appeal is not to be underestimated. Like Gorgeous George, he is an entertainer first, entrepreneur second, and president as an afterthought. That list of priorities is so that, while entertaining his audience, they don’t realize his entrepreneurial motivations. He is in this for the money which is how he keeps score for his ego. Gorgeous George was the cowardly victim. His credo was, “win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat.” Trump has modified that creed to be, “Win at all costs, cheat if it works in your favor, if you lose, lie and just say that you won.”

Barring some blunder that even the blind faithful can see and not forgive, Democrats will need to counter with their own charismatic champion. I don’t say to copy Trump’s shenanigans, just come up with something equally entertaining that gets back to governing the nation and not tearing it down.

Who could that be? Well, if Democrats want to seriously win back the White House, it would be helpful if they don’t try to force feed the nation with anything that even smacks of far left. I love Pete Buttigieg and think he would make a wonderful president, but he could never win a national election. Gavin Newsome might have a chance if he can finish his California governorship without incident and manage to steer his campaign in a more centrist direction.

Whatever happens, we will have to keep an eye on the shape shifting octopus now in the Oval Office. He is using his eight suction cupped arms to add to his own coffers at an astounding rate. Will there still be a country to hold an election in 2028, or will a Trump family dynasty be our future? I, for one, hope that he just squirts out some ink and disappears somewhere into the deep recesses of the Gulf of Mexico.