The U.S.S. Trump

The U.S.S. Donald J. Trump was launched on its maiden voyage January 20, 2016. This wasn't a sleek, quiet cruiser, but a massive, gold-trimmed cruise ship that promised to "Make the Ocean Great Again" by charting a course of "America First. The shakedown cruise navigated some rough waters with a near shutdown of all government engines avoided only by delaying funding for his U.S.-Mexico border wall. That wall was to have been paid for by Mexico but apparently, they didn’t get the tweet. Within the first two years of this four-year cruise, 43% of the crew were forced to walk the plank. The turnover rate in the first two and a half years was higher than the five previous presidents throughout their terms.

While 323 million passengers aboard the U.S.S. Trump had been promised tax cuts, it was corporations and the top 10% of income earners who got 80% of those benefits. The top 1% got an average cut of $60,000, while the bottom 60% got less than $500.

Captain Trump’s nickname was Captain Tweet. He issued as many as 200 tweets in a single day. During this first cruise he sent 25,000 tweets and posts. Of those 20,000 tweets, fact-checkers found 30,000 false or misleading statements. There was so much gaslighting that the ship’s fire brigade was constantly called in to extinguish flareups.

There were storms on the horizon. Hurricane Dorian was steered toward Alabama by the quick-thinking captain when he used his extra-large Sharpie to redirect its course. That only happened in the mind of the captain, however, as Hurricane Dorian did what all hurricanes do, what it wanted. Other significant storms included two impeachments. In the final year of the cruise, Captain Trump steered the ship directly into hurricane Covid-19.

The president-captain had, early in this first cruise, dismantled a National Security Council directorate charged with preparing for a pandemic. Then, like Captain Smith and the doomed Titanic, he ignored warnings of a new viral iceberg and claimed on January 22, 2020, "We have it totally under control. It's one person coming in from China, and we have it under control. It's going to be just fine."

By October of that year both Captain Trump and First Officer Melania had contracted the coronavirus. He promoted hydroxychloroquine saying, “What do you have to lose?” He also made recommendations involving injecting disinfectants and using UV light inside the body to the cringed-gasp response of medical personnel on his staff.

In November of 2020, the American public voted to relieve the captain of his duties. When the ship finally docked on January 20, 2021, Covid-19 had killed over 400,000 American passengers. That month alone saw over 95,000 deaths.

The U.S.S. Donald J Trump was placed in drydock for four years. It was relaunched in January of 2025. It left the harbor ALL AHEAD FULL before the steering wheel could be connected to the rudder. Absolutely no one aboard, including the captain, knew where we were headed. We were moving quickly but without direction. The captain needed no maps as he considered anything he saw to be his property. If you don't know where you are going, any course will get you there.

While President Biden promised no new wars and made it through four years without new conflicts, Trump made that promise during campaigns of both terms. In his first term he had used military force in seven countries: Iraq, Syria, Somalia, Yemen, Afghanistan, Libya, and Niger. In the first year of his second term he matched that record and used military force, including air strikes, naval strikes, and special operations against seven countries. They include Iran, Iraq, Somalia, Yemen, Syria, Nigeria, and Venezuela. He also began military operations in Ecuador but that was in cooperation with their government to combat “terrorists” in that South American country. It seems that “America First” includes South America as well.

The president-captain has, in conjunction with his Republican congress, promised to cut Medicaid funding, SNAP food assistance, housing and nutrition programs, Temporary Assistance for Needy Families and Social Services Block Grants, and early childhood education and student financial assistance programs. He wants to save money.

Meanwhile, Captain Trump consulted with that famous boy band, Old Kids on the Block, consisting of Jared, Steve, Pete, and Marco, and decided to take our ship and its 480 million passengers on a little “excursion” into Iran. This war, excuse me, military excursion, has already cost $16.5 billion in first 12 days and an additional $890 million each day since. He has now requested an additional $200 billion for military defense spending. His officials say they need this “supplement” to “kill bad guys.” This would be added like a cherry on top of the existing $1.5 trillion already budgeted for the military.

In a postscript to the “excursion” in Iran and the $200 billion needed to buy more stuff to kill the bad guys, a new and totally unrelated report has surfaced. That report tells us that Trump’s eldest sons Bevis and Butthead (aka Don Jr & Eric) are investing in several military contracting companies.

Yes, the Trump siblings are expanding their portfolios to include defense drone manufacturers, and they are helping those companies secure Pentagon contracts. The Trump family is now part of the Military Industrial Complex. Don Jr. is on the board of Unusual Machines and has a financial interest in that company. They are a drone parts company. Eric has invested in Xtend, an Israeli drone maker with a U.S. facility used by the IDF in Gaza. Also unrelated, is the fact that the president has banned foreign made drones creating a gap in the market that can now be filled with Trump-family backed firms. Archie Bunker would be proud that they are keeping it, All In The Family.