Classic Literature

During this past year of the Covid-19 shutdown, I began thinking about classic literature.  Not that I read any of it last year mind you, I just thought about it.  During the many Zoom interviews given on television in 2020, quite a few people would have their background include bookshelves filled with their intellectual formative history of reading.  For some, this was a real bookshelf and for others, it was a “green-screen” faux image of bookshelves filled with the classics.  Various interviewees who had written their own books would generally have their publications visible and turned so the front cover(s) could be seen.

My Library of Classic Literature

I would reflect upon my own exposure to classic literature and how it had influenced my formative years.  Once I got beyond Fun With Dick and Jane, I looked for additional intellectual stimulation.  I read The Bobbsey Twins at the Seashore.  I remember the title if little else about the book.  A quick bit of research found that the book was written in 1907 by Laura Lee Hope.  It was marketed as, “For Little Men and Women.”  Digging a bit deeper I found that Laura Lee Hope never existed.  This was a pseudonym for a syndicate of writers founded by Edward Stratemeyer.  Seashore was the third in a series of 72 books, now in the public domain, that involved the adventures of two sets of fraternal twins born to an upper-middle-class family.  I downloaded a PDF copy and quickly found that this children’s classic would not stand the scrutiny of our modern PC Police.

The Bobbsey Twins at the Seashore

I also read Ojibway Drums, a 1955 story of a 12-year-old Indian boy, Half Sky, and his pilgrimage to Dreamer’s Rock to fulfill his search for his animal spirit as he approached manhood.  I had a childhood fascination with Indian lore.  I had already watched a gazillion Saturday morning movies involving cowboys and Indians and I had visited a “real” Seminole Village in the Florida Everglades to see how they lived.  The men wrestled alligators and the women operated pedal-driven Singer sewing machines to make their colorful dresses and men’s shirts.  Certainly, these Indians never surrounded a wagon train or attacked a fort.

Ojibway Drums, 1955

As I got older, I read a few of the more traditional classics like Treasure Island, Tarzan Lord of the Jungle, Moby Dick, Catch-22, Nineteen eighty-four, Animal Farm, and To Kill a Mockingbird.  I’m sure many of these were work assignments from teachers and not something I chose on my own.  I tried to read Tolstoy's War and Peace once but the school librarian got a hernia trying to get it down off the shelf for me.  I also banged my head up against Beowulf and several of Shakespeare’s works, even managing to memorize several lines from Macbeth.  With just the right amount of Scotch I will still recite those lines to a mostly unappreciative audience.

While I am sure I was somewhat influenced by having been exposed to these literary classics, I must now admit to and identify the most influential publication of my early adult life.  You won’t see this work on the bookshelves behind some talking head in a Zoom interview, but I’m sure many of the adult males, and perhaps a few females, will secretly admit to having read this during their lives. 

It was a comprehensive historical snapshot covering several generations and it contained the works of Arthur C. Clarke, John Updike, Michael Crichton, John le Carré, Kurt Vonnegut, Ian Fleming, and Woody Allen.  It featured the cartoons of Jules Feiffer, Gahan Wilson, and Shel Silverstein.  It published interviews with artists, architects, economists, composers, film directors, athletes, religious figures, and even President Jimmy Carter (November 1976).  Interviewees included Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, and American Nazi Party founder George Rockwell.  Their interview with John Lennon and Yoko Ono was in the November 1976 issue and was on the newsstands when Lennon was murdered.  

Ruth's Tattoos, Shel Silverstein

This slick publication first saw the light of day in December of 1953 and was the brainchild of a University of Illinois psychology graduate, Hugh Hefner.  This first entry into the crowded world of men’s magazines featured Marilyn Monroe as its first centerfold.  It was to have been called Stag Party but legal threats from a men’s adventure magazine, Stag, brought about a name change.  We now call that publication, Playboy.

If you asked anyone in the day, they only subscribed to Playboy for the articles.  I must admit, I did read the occasional article.  The only people who could legitimately claim they “just read it for the articles” must have been their braille subscribers.  Yes, in 1970 Playboy became the first gentlemen’s magazine to be published in braille.  As I don’t read braille, I had to endure the regular print publication.

For a generation that grew up in the 60s, 70s, and 80s, Playboy was a staple.  It would not survive the onslaught of “more open” competition, and it is certainly not politically correct by any stretch of today’s standards, but for a time it provided a fantasy world for young male imaginations.  There were grooming and style tips that were fit for the times.  Its jokes page was conveniently placed on the back of the centerfold.  There were such gems as, “Perhaps you’ve heard of the new social action group DAM—Mothers Against Dyslexia.”  It was always good to review the joke page before heading out to a bar as you never knew when you might need an icebreaker.

My Guantanamo barracks bunk 1972; locker door
sports my NAUI certification and two Playboy pinups

There was information on new technology.  On page 169 of the February 1989 issue, you would learn of Camerica’s Freedom Stick, billed as the first wireless joystick that would work on Nintendo, Sega, Commodore, and Atari game systems.  It was available for $59.95.  On page 165 you would hear about the new Panasonic KX-F120 telephone with built-in speakerphone, fax machine, copier and answering machine that retailed for only $1,695.  In today’s dollars, that would be around $3,631.38.  These same features can now be found in a smartphone you carry in your pocket.

You may have noticed in the last paragraph that page numbers were quoted.  Yes, I still have that 1989 issue along with others of similar vintage.  I managed to save, for research and nostalgia purposes only, an eclectic assortment of old Playboys.  While some issues may have collectible value, I doubt any of these will be a source of income in my retirement.

My February 1989 issue

I see on eBay that a March 1990 issue is worth $45, mainly because of the interviewee, Donald Trump.  An October 1982 issue featuring Tanya Roberts (Bond girl and the last season Angel in Charlie’s Angels) and an interview with Robin Williams sells for $14.95.  I would guess that Robin Williams’ inclusion is driving that sale price.  I also see where someone is offering the Bo Derek March 1980 issue for $12,000 (with $15 shipping).  I see that 67 people are “watching” this auction on eBay.  I may have this one in my garage.  My February 1989 copy had a cover price of $4 so it is not like these magazines are going to make anyone wealthy as an investment.  In most cases, estimated shipping costs exceed the sale price.

Trump the Playboy

So it is with the classics, beauty or class is in the eye of the beholder or reader.  I see that you can buy Aesop’s Favorite Fables in hardcover for $11.69 on Amazon.  I hear that Aesop never saw a dime for his valuable work.  No one even knows who wrote the 3,182 lines of the epic Old English poem Beowulf either, and I guess that is all for the good.  After suffering through lines like those below, you just want to burn the bastard in effigy.

"He was easy to find then who otherwhere looked for a pleasanter place of repose in the lodges, a bed in the bowers. Then was brought to his notice told him truly by token apparent the hall-thane’s hatred: he held himself after further and faster who the foeman did baffle."

Anyone claiming to understand the previous paragraph is delusional, or worse, a Republican.  Beowulf was just a form of medieval torture, similar in function to the rack.  Like a few works of art, some writings become classics because they are so obtuse as to be subject to interpretations that fit the desires or ideas of the observer.

Yes, the greatest and most prolific author of the classics has to be Anonymous.  He/she will be revered and despised for eternity.  I read now mostly for information and research.  The classics I have read, by choice or assignment, are all part of my background.  Among my most influential classics, Playboy will be a whispered part of my past but still remembered fondly.  As a footnote to the history of Playboy, Hugh Hefner died in 2017, at the age of 91.  He is buried next to Marilyn Monroe, his first centerfold.

Hefner and Marilyn