I don’t know about you, but I’m beginning to feel like Edward Snowden living in self-imposed exile at an embassy I call home. My last official barbershop haircut was back in January. I periodically start our two cars just to see if they still work. I’ve fallen into somewhat of a routine. I make coffee in the morning. That’s a café Americano for me and a cappuccino for Sue. I pick up the morning Miami Herald from my front lawn, bring it inside, and wipe it down with Lysol before reading. There is always the possibility that the news will be toxic that day.
After breakfast there is the long commute to work; a hard left out of the kitchen and a straight shot through the dining room. I pass by the scenic living room on my left before coming to the treacherous climb up the four stairs. At the top of the stairs, it is a short jaunt straight ahead and then a quick turn to the right and I come to the Great Divide. Here, if you are not careful, you could make a mistake as you are confronted with three doors and only one gets you to your destination. For me, it is door number three on the right.
We have two bedrooms that have been converted into offices. Sue’s office also functions as a guest room with the help of a fold-down Murphy bed. My office functions as both an office and a photography and computer museum. Nobody could ever sleep in my office. Hell, you can barely walk in here. It has been years since I have seen most of my floor. This is the only room in the house with the original 35-year-old carpeting. The new carpet installers just took a glance at my office and laughed. There are cameras that still use film and computers that have built-in floppy and Zip drives. I seem to remember that there is a Playboy collection in the back of the closet that goes to a time when the centerfolds wore clothes. I regularly find electronic equipment that prompts me to say, “What the hell is this, and what was it used for?” The next statement is generally that, “it must be important so I had better hang on to it.”
Yesterday was rather typical. I was doing political research trying to find one redeeming quality that could be attributed to our president. It’s exhausting work but I feel there is an answer out there somewhere. Why would forty-something percent of America think he’s doing a good job? I got very close last week when I found evidence that Donald J. Trump once walked by a small puppy and didn’t kick it. I checked out the story in Snopes and found out that they rated the story Mostly False. It turns out that there was a video that proved Trump never saw the puppy.
So here I was, deep in research and following up on leads when my concentration was interrupted by loud laughter from Sue’s office. I then remembered that she was having a three-way with two guys she hooked up with from high school. I went back to my research only to realize that that last sentence didn’t sound right. I should have explained that Sue has been doing her own research trying to find classmates for her upcoming 50th high school reunion. It was actually a three-way conference call with two classmates she had recently located.
Sue has been working since last fall trying to find her fellow Weston High School alumni. She has become a regular detective of some renown. Neither Hercule Poirot nor Miss Marple has anything on Sherlock Sue. If she hasn’t found them by now, they are surely in witness protection. Her latest success was a musician who had taken up a new stage name and had been difficult to locate. He is a heavy-metal guitarist who played with Alice Cooper in the late ‘80s and wrote most of the songs on two of his albums.
Sue’s high school class differs from mine. While her class of 189 is filled with successful people having varied interests, my class of over 1,000 was a bit more pedestrian. Sue’s class has several millionaires and at least one billionaire. My class has many who have managed to stay out of jail. I barely made that list. Among my classmates, you will find people like Steve Carlton who played some professional baseball. He must have been good as he is in the baseball Hall of Fame and he won four Cy Young awards. You will also find in my class, Mickey Munday who was featured in the film, Cocaine Cowboys for his time spent with the Colombian Medellin drug cartel and Pablo Escobar. Mickey cleaned up his act for a bit but it didn’t last. He was last heard from when he was sentenced to a 12-year stint in prison for auto-fraud conspiracy in 2018.
So, life goes on in our little “embassy.” We don't have much to really complain about; we think of all the others out there who are less fortunate. We are both retired and certainly comfortable. Some people, however, are out of work trying to figure out how to pay their rent and wondering how they will feed themselves or their families. Some people are working essential jobs and perhaps putting their lives at risk. While we have a home with a beautiful backyard and patios lined with trees filled with birds and critters, others are stuck in small apartments. Count your blessings.
I will leave you with a singular thought perhaps best expressed by Monty Python,
Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life.
(click for a link to the video)
Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best
And
Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the light side of life
If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing
And
Always look on the bright side of life
(Come on)
Always look on the right side of life
For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget about your sin
Give the audience a grin
Enjoy it, it's your last chance anyhow
So always look on the bright side of death
A just before you draw your terminal breath
Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughin' as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you
And
Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the right side of life
(C'mon Brian, cheer up)
Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the bright side of life
I mean, what have you got to lose?
You know, you come from nothing
You're going back to nothing
What have you lost? Nothing
Always look on the right side of life
Nothing will come from nothing, ya know what they say
Cheer up ya old bugga c'mon give us a grin (Always look on the right side of life)
There ya are, see
It's the end of the film
Incidentally this record's available in the foyer (Always look on the right side of life)
Some of us got to live as well, you know
(Always look on the right side of life)
Who do you think pays for all this rubbish
(Always look on the right side of life)
They're not gonna make their money back, you know
I told them, I said to him, Bernie, I said they'll never make their money back
(Always look on the right side of life)
No comments:
Post a Comment