Pool Vandals

I know this president “rested his eyes” while in biology class, so I thought I would provide him with a quick update. You see, blaming an algae bloom on vandals is a bit like his claiming he contracted that venereal disease from a toilet seat. It just doesn’t pass the sniff test, if I can be so gross.

Algae have been a persistent and recurring issue in the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool since it was completed in the early 1920s. The broad, shallow (6.75 million-gallon) basin features stagnant water and acts as an optimal biological incubator for rapid algae blooms when combined with Washington, D.C.'s hot summer weather and high levels of sunlight.

If Trump had stayed awake in that biology class or knew just a little about the field of water resources and environmental engineering, he might have realized it was time to consult with an expert. He might have known a simple “nano bubbler" would be overwhelmed because the pool's outdated and leaking infrastructure, pumps in warm, raw river water that is a constant source of nutrients for algae. This was not a “nano bubble” problem.

This same logical thinking would quickly debunk the Trump attempt to blame vandals for the delamination of the pool liner. No liberal Antifa commando (like Commando Bernie) entered the pool under the cover of darkness to cut a 275-foot slit in the pool liner. No newsman in a suit ruined your multi-million dollar no-bid project. No bicyclist stopping by for a look at the liner already documented to be floating in the algae, caused the liner to fail. It was a rushed inexperienced contractor who didn’t do the job properly.

I leave you with a line from Bob Dylan’s 1965 Subterranean Homesick Blues, “The pump don’t work ‘cause the vandals took the handle.” That line acts as a metaphor as it symbolizes societal decay, deliberate sabotage, and broken systems