The Bumper Car Presidency

 

One of my favorite rides at the local amusement park in the 50s, was the Dodgem Bumper Cars. The cars were simple, with only an accelerator and a steering wheel for control. The amusement came by driving your car to ram other cars on the oval track. The cars could go in reverse by spinning the steering wheel far enough in one direction to get your car out of the frequent entanglements.

Who would have thought that an elected American president would take delight in adopting the bumper car concept as a way to run a country. Just keep banging into things and changing direction to amuse yourself while distracting from more important matters. Spin that wheel in all directions just to see where you end up. Hit as many obstacles and do as much damage as possible.

Install a team to randomly fire people and shut down or cripple government agencies. Bang. Attack members of the press who don’t flatter you. Bang. Threaten media corporations who make fun of you with their comedy shows. Bang. Use your Justice Department to bring random lawsuits against your enemies. Bang. Sue your own government, settle with yourself, and walk away with a cash prize. Bang. Threaten long-term American allies just for fun. Bang. Threaten to take over countries you might want. Bang. Invade Venezuela and kidnap their leader. Bang. Shoot random boats in international waters and kill all on board. Bang. Start a war in Iran. Bang.

The Dodgem patent was for an “Amusement Apparatus” and it was granted in 1920. The patent described the device as having “novel instrumentalities to render their manipulation and control difficult and uncertain by the occupant-operator.” The patent went on to describe the operation stating that the cars would, “follow a promiscuous, irregular, and undefined path over the floor or other area, to not only produce various sensations during the travel of the vehicle but to collide with other cars as well as with portions of the platform provided for that purpose."

After watching the shenanigans of Trump 2.0 in the first year, the Dodgem bumper cars came immediately to mind. His random collisions with the law, common sense, common decency, and accepted moral principles, all comport with the initial patent wording where he: “follows a promiscuous, irregular and undefined path.”

The term helter-skelter would also be descriptive as it describes something done in a confused, hurried, and disorderly manner, often with a lack of organization or with chaotic haste. I use the helter-skelter term here in its original adverb form not to be confused with the interpretation by Charles Manson where he used it to describe an apocalyptic race war. On second thought, the Charles Manson appropriation of the term might also be accurate.